Book Review: If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin

Delve into the emotional rollercoaster of high school romance through the eyes of relatable characters, making you reflect on your own coming-of-age experiences.

2024-05-30 05:24:48 UTC

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Intro to If He Had Been With Me

If He Had Been With Me is a novel that leaves an indelible mark on the reader's psyche. Its exploration of grief, love, and the transformative power of human connections resonates deeply, challenging readers to confront their own preconceptions and embrace the richness of human experience. Reading this may send you back to your teen days, and it could hurt.

Grab your copy here.

Amazon Book Description

If he had been with me, everything would have been different…

Autumn and Finn used to be inseparable. But then something changed. Or they changed. Now, they do their best to ignore each other.

Autumn has her boyfriend Jamie, and her close-knit group of friends. And Finn has become that boy at school, the one everyone wants to be around.

That still doesn't stop the way Autumn feels every time she and Finn cross paths, and the growing, nagging thought that maybe things could have been different. Maybe they should be together.

But come August, things will change forever. And as time passes, Autumn will be forced to confront how else life might have been different if they had never parted ways…

Themes Explored in If He Had Been With Me

If He Had Been With Me explores a multitude of profound themes that resonate with readers on a personal level. Grief, loss, and the healing process are central to the narrative, as Nowlin delves into the profound impact that tragedy can have on individuals and their relationships. Additionally, the novel touches upon themes of self-discovery, the complexities of human connections, and the transformative power of love in its various forms.

Nowlin's work serves as a poignant reminder of the enduring power of storytelling and its ability to touch the hearts and souls of readers. Through her narrative, she invites us to reflect on our own lives, to confront our fears and insecurities, and to embrace the beauty and complexity of human connections.

The novel's significance extends beyond its literary merits, as it has the potential to inspire readers to approach their own relationships and experiences with greater empathy, understanding, and compassion. In a world that often oversimplifies human connections, If He Had Been With Me, stands as a beacon of hope, reminding us of the transformative power of love, grief, and the resilience of the human spirit.

Readers’ Reactions and Reviews

If He Had Been With Me has been on The New York Times Bestseller List for Young Adult Paperback since January 2023, #1 for most months except when the sequel, If Only I Had Told Her, stole the spot for a few months at the beginning of this year. If He Had Been With Me is a #1 New York Times Bestseller, a USA Today Bestseller, is #393 in Amazon Books, and is #2 in Amazon Books Teen and Young Adult Friendship Fiction. The novel is also a viral Booktok sensation for teen fiction.

My Impression of If He Had Been With Me

This book is a perfect illustration of high school romance. As I read it, I remembered all the things that used to seem so important to my teenage self and how everything always seemed it would work out so perfectly. As a teenager, you can easily relate everything to a simple math equation. If 2 plus 2 equals 4, then it should be true that if he loves me and I love him then we will get married and be happy forever. Wrong. Always usually wrong. This is all a part of coming-of-age, I suppose.

Finny's mother gives Autumn advice at one point in the novel when her newest relationship ends. She says, "Try to marry your first love. For the rest of your life, no one will ever treat you as well." I think this is bad advice. In hindsight of finishing the novel, maybe it was important to the plot of the story, but in reality, no thank you. First love I think for most is used as a starting point, as it should. You and your first love were both idiots. Idiots in love, but neither of you knew anything about real life or real relationships. I will agree that the high you have from your first love is one you will always chase, and will hopefully find that there is better love out there. Usually, there is.

Autumn goes through a lot with her relationship. To spend your whole high school career in one relationship is a milestone for sure, but it is sad to watch Autumn waste so much time. At one point she tells Jaime "I love you like people do in real life" versus what love is like in a story book. Sometimes the story book love is real, girl. Don't settle for the lame love! I wanted to scream it at her. This is how dreams die. She was going to let her dream of being a writer die because it didn't seem practical. No dream is worth having if it is practical, in my opinion.

She was getting bored. Pages passed where she was predicting all of the events coming her way. She was too afraid to say she wanted more, even though she could feel there was more out there. This is a definite way to set yourself up for depression.

When my husband and I first started dating, I had just left my ex of 5 years. He helped me through a breakup that should have been tough, but really it had ended for me a long time before that. I will never forget one thing my husband had said about it. He said, "Sometimes you put yourself in a box to please other people, and you the other people will keep making this box smaller and smaller and smaller to fit their needs. One day you realize that you no longer fit in this box you made, and you just need to go find another box." It was the best advice I had ever received and I hope one day I can give that advice to someone so it will change the way they see life like it did for me. It is something I wish Autumn could have heard.

Finny was always there and we knew he loved her, even if she didn't. Some of her revelations became our revelations, but I loved how we could see some of both sides just from Autumn's narration.

Conclusion

As I reflect on this novel, I am left with a sense of gratitude for the journey it has taken me on. Nowlin's work has challenged me to confront my own preconceptions, to embrace the complexities of human experience, and to approach my own relationships and connections with greater empathy and understanding. Heart-wrenching and juvenile as this novel was, I was happy to have felt like I lived through Autumn and Finny's teenage experience and love affairs. One take away I hope readers have from this story is that true love does exist. This was one of the easier reviews for me to write because I know it does. I hugged my husband so tight after finishing this book. Don't ever settle, readers, for bad books or bad relationships. Finny is worth waiting for.